Can't we all just get along?

''If a doula were a drug, it would be unethical not to use it.'' - - John H. Kennell, MD

Think about that statement, it speaks volumes.  I often wonder why there is such a power struggle between nurses and Doulas.  To me it doesn’t make any sense.  Doulas have no power, we are there for the mother going along with the mother and supporting the mother.  Doulas are women experienced in childbirth who provide non-medical emotional and physical support to women before, during and after childbirth. During labor this might mean coaching the mother with her breathing, helping with pain relief and giving reassurance. They also aspire to help the mother birth her baby naturally.  Every doula is NOT ''overbearing.'' A professional, experienced doula will make a point to be diplomatic and cooperative with medical staff, because they want to be welcomed at hospitals, not spurned.  Doulas are not midwives, we are there to help the women in hospital, we appreciate hospitals and what they do!  We are not as radical as people often assume.  Midwives are not radical at all either!  We will touch on that at another time.  

  Why nurses or OBGYN’s feel threatened is beyond me.  When I read or hear OBGYN’s talking Mamba (That means crap or smack), I immediately want to analyze why?  Why are they so infuriated?  Could it be because the mother ended up rejecting all those fancy medicines and interventions that make the medical bill higher that benefits the hospital and Doctor.  Does this OBGyn or nurse really care about a women’s choice to labor the way they want if they are healthy enough!  I start analyzing why they wouldn’t want the extra eyes on them, what are they doing that could be deemed unfit!  I really go nuts analyzing, I feel that when medical staff tend to have a strong opinion about Doulas, they either have had a bad experience or they are just insecure for some reason.  Or the other age old problem, they are just fixated on medicine and think that it is the end all tell all way of doing things.  At the end of the day I feel that even if a person went into med school to become a OBGYN wanting to deliver babies and help women with their crotchelle regions, they may have came out with a sense of fear that makes them do what they are trained to do and just that only.  Natural births are just out of their comfort zones, I get it.  So is supplements and other things that they do not teach in medical school, why would we want to do things naturally when there are all those drugs!  I feel that the I want to deliver babies turns into I am a doctor, and I want to make it to my tee time by 3 so let’s get this baby out!  Now that maybe a bold statement and I get that not all OB's are like this, but I don’t get why if healthy young women want to try giving it a go natural why they just don’t let them…  Just let em, most of the women tap out because we are a society that is highly medicated in general and the women might not be able to take the pain because she has never known pain in her body!  But by all means let the gals just have a fighting chance to try it natural.  It is the OBGYN’s job to deliver the baby safely period.  I always tell pregnant women to ask their obgyn what percentage of the patients do they actually deliver.  They might not make it to the birth as in their 9 holes went into 18 and the mother is stuck with a Doctor she never met.  But a Doula will always be there, and can help, so what’s the problem.

As a doula you give yourself emotionally and physically, and you do it because you love to do it."

Another true statement.  As a Doula you have no ulterior motives.  Now I know that there may be some Doulas out there that have been doing it for years that may be more boisterous and cocky, and they may even stick their noses where they shouldn’t.  But I think there are those kinds of people in every profession.  To those ladies, I say go get re certified because the first things we really learn is that it is not our job to talk to the staff about things.  We give the mother the information we know IF she asks  so that she can make an informed decision!  We should never be saying things in untactful ways such as Don’t let them brake your water because it will end bad, we tell them the few evidence based side effects that the nurses and Doctors might say as well, wording things as informative not suggesting  for momma to make her decision. 

My main point of this rant it mostly that I feel sad that childbirth, one of the most empowering and memorable moments of a woman’s life is looked at in a productional way!  As in like a weird assembly line of sorts, women comes in to hospital they offer to induce, then they offer pain meds, then they offer to break the water, and more pain meds, and then they tell you how to position yourself, and when to push, and then soon after take the baby and start all the tests, and sew the gal up and then bring the baby back and then and then and then.  It just seems so un-intimate and so cold.  On what’s supposed to be a warm day and warm moment.  The mother doesn’t know anyone; they are just a name in a production line to me.  I want for women if they want it to have more.  To have the empowering experience to try to do what they want.  Even if they don’t make it to the end unmediated to have that sense of accomplishment for trying, and maybe denying one medical intervention that before they just would have went with because they are supposed to, not because it was actually needed!  I feel that with everything we as a society want to do what others are doing because we don’t want to be questioned or have to question why.  We are too busy in our day to day lives to just stop and analyze how some things might work for others, but it might not work for me!  I hope that going along with this trend of seeking knowledge Doulas will be a necessity instead of a luxury in the birthing world.  We shall see! 

Love,

Mel